Funny Status Ideas

Grammar is important! Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your Uncle jack off a horse.

I hate it when people throw cigarette butts in urinals. It makes them soggy, and hard to light.

If I could pick 3 words that describe me, they would be "I suck at math"

I used to be a kleptomaniac but now I take something for it.

What if Aliens have been trying to contact us through the internet, but "Are you human?" filters keep them out?

There is no one more trustworthy than Clark Kent's dry cleaner.

Some people don't realize they're bad drivers because they can't see the signs.