Funny Status Ideas

If I could pick 3 words that describe me, they would be "I suck at math"

I used to be a kleptomaniac but now I take something for it.

What if Aliens have been trying to contact us through the internet, but "Are you human?" filters keep them out?

There is no one more trustworthy than Clark Kent's dry cleaner.

Some people don't realize they're bad drivers because they can't see the signs.

The flu has totally gone viral.

To all those that received a book from me as a Christmas present... they are due back at the library today.