Funny Status Ideas

Someone needs to make an app that alerts you every time your girlfriend gets a haircut, so we don't forget to notice.

If you want something to be misinterpreted, post it on the Internet.

If I start to spell your name the right way, please don't interrupt me with whatever wrong way your parents chose to spell it.

What do you call a fat psychic? A four chin teller.

Instead of calling it the John, I call my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.

I bet rosa parks killed it at musical chairs

You know you're all grown up when you actually pick up the ice cube instead of kick it under the fridge.