Funny Status Ideas

If I start to spell your name the right way, please don't interrupt me with whatever wrong way your parents chose to spell it.

What do you call a fat psychic? A four chin teller.

Instead of calling it the John, I call my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.

I bet rosa parks killed it at musical chairs

You know you're all grown up when you actually pick up the ice cube instead of kick it under the fridge.

Grammar is important! Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your Uncle jack off a horse.

I hate it when people throw cigarette butts in urinals. It makes them soggy, and hard to light.