Funny Status Ideas

How many boxes of these Thin Mints do I need to eat before I start seeing results?

Why does 'beans' only mean secret when it's "Don't spill the beans?" Why can't I say I have a dirty little beans to tell you?

Up until now, I thought "twerking" was short for "networking." Needless to say, today's business lunch was awkward.

If you need to rush somewhere, carry a fire extinguisher. Nobody will stop a person running with a fire extinguisher...

I love a good political joke. Unless it gets elected...

Somewhere in Russia, a little kid farted a half beat before the meteor blew out all the windows. It was the greatest moment of his life.

Normally, having a pillow fight used to be fun, until "Memory Foam" made an appearance.