Funny Status Ideas

I'm not damaged goods, I'm damaged greats!

If a tree falls in the forest but nobody is there to hear it, who chopped it down in the first place? Ghosts? Is this a haunted forest?

I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters.. do they just give you a bra and say, "here fill this out"..?

Women are like iPhones. You have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like Blackberries, rub one ball and everything moves.

I washed my car with my wife today. You know what? She doesn't make a very good sponge.

My grandmother is 94 years old and still doesn't need glasses. Nope. Drinks right out of the bottle.

There is surely nothing that can top what Pope Benedict has given up for Lent