Funny Status Ideas

Up until now, I thought "twerking" was short for "networking." Needless to say, today's business lunch was awkward.

If you need to rush somewhere, carry a fire extinguisher. Nobody will stop a person running with a fire extinguisher...

I love a good political joke. Unless it gets elected...

Somewhere in Russia, a little kid farted a half beat before the meteor blew out all the windows. It was the greatest moment of his life.

Normally, having a pillow fight used to be fun, until "Memory Foam" made an appearance.

I'm great in bed....i can sleep for days.

In Soviet Russia, space explores you!