Funny Status Ideas

I have, a really beautiful body, under my floor boards...

I failed my driver's test. For the question "What do you do at a Red Light?" I said "Text and check Facebook."

Some days, the best thing about my job is that the chair spins.

"Go left at the chopsticks in the road" - Chinese directions

Everyone is beautiful in their own way. Your way just happens to be in the dark...

I have OCD and ADD. Which means everything has to be perfect, but not for very long.

Of all the things I have lost in life I miss my mind the most