Funny Status Ideas

Some days, the best thing about my job is that the chair spins.

"Go left at the chopsticks in the road" - Chinese directions

Everyone is beautiful in their own way. Your way just happens to be in the dark...

I have OCD and ADD. Which means everything has to be perfect, but not for very long.

Of all the things I have lost in life I miss my mind the most

How many boxes of these Thin Mints do I need to eat before I start seeing results?

Why does 'beans' only mean secret when it's "Don't spill the beans?" Why can't I say I have a dirty little beans to tell you?