Funny Status Ideas

Never make an arm wrestle bet with a man who has been single for longer than 6 months.

If you watch the Harlem Shake backwards, it's a video about a guy who parties longer than everyone else.

Why do single women take dating advice from other single women? That's like Stevie Wonder giving driving directions to Ray Charles.

The Swiss must've been pretty confident in their chances of victory if they included a corkscrew in their army knife.

If God didn't want kids to keep their mouths shut, then he wouldn't have created glue sticks in the same shape as chap stick.

What if the stickers are the only thing made in China?

"Never go to bed angry" is the worst advice ever. I haven't slept in eleven years.