Funny Status Ideas

Why do single women take dating advice from other single women? That's like Stevie Wonder giving driving directions to Ray Charles.

The Swiss must've been pretty confident in their chances of victory if they included a corkscrew in their army knife.

If God didn't want kids to keep their mouths shut, then he wouldn't have created glue sticks in the same shape as chap stick.

What if the stickers are the only thing made in China?

"Never go to bed angry" is the worst advice ever. I haven't slept in eleven years.

I just lost 20 lbs. on the “I have no steady income” diet!

I am such a pessimist, my blood type is B-negative.