Funny Status Ideas

Whenever somebody said they did something "Like a Boss" I assume that they did nothing but took all the credit for it.

Do you ever get that feeling that you are being watched? Because if it is bothering you, I can stop.

No one ever reads the rules of Monopoly unless an argument breaks out.

It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

I slammed the car door on my fingers this afternoon. In related news, there's an 83% chance that my nephew just added "Mother*ucker" to his vocabulary.

The gay marriage debate is a NIMBY (Not in my Backyard) issue ... both figuratively and literally.

I've got Mila Kunis' autograph! It's on a restraining order, but still....