Funny Status Ideas

No one ever reads the rules of Monopoly unless an argument breaks out.

It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

I slammed the car door on my fingers this afternoon. In related news, there's an 83% chance that my nephew just added "Mother*ucker" to his vocabulary.

The gay marriage debate is a NIMBY (Not in my Backyard) issue ... both figuratively and literally.

I've got Mila Kunis' autograph! It's on a restraining order, but still....

Really, a Justin Bieber piñata is for everyone. Either you like him, or would like to hit him.

Maybe the T-Rex is mad all the time because his parents never hugged him.