Funny Status Ideas

That guy is so stupid he can't can't count his balls twice and come up with the same number.

You don't know something? Google it. You don't know someone? Facebook it. You don't find Something? MOM!

If you're ever held at gun point, just remember, I'm behind you 100%.

You can't call it a credit score if I can't win.

Alanis Morissette sings about having 10,000 spoons when all she needs is a knife. Nobody asks why she has 10,000 spoons?

My gambling addiction sponsor says he's going to stay with me through the whole program. I have the over/under at 9 weeks.

The easiest way for me to lose inches is to switch to the metric system.