Funny Status Ideas

After saying, "What?" three times, you just have to agree.

We are hosting a charity concert for people who struggle to reach orgasm. If you can't come, let me know.

I’m just a few smartphone apps away from never having to talk to anyone again.

I don't get why people pay $400 a month in child support. According to the commercials, you can feed a kid for 35 cents a day.

If I put as much effort into my job as I do picking teams for my NCAA bracket, I would be a millionaire.

OK, so when is this "Old enough to know better" thing supposed to kick in?

Whoever said technology will replace paper has obviously never tried to wipe their butt with an iPad.