Funny Status Ideas

I’m just a few smartphone apps away from never having to talk to anyone again.

I don't get why people pay $400 a month in child support. According to the commercials, you can feed a kid for 35 cents a day.

If I put as much effort into my job as I do picking teams for my NCAA bracket, I would be a millionaire.

OK, so when is this "Old enough to know better" thing supposed to kick in?

Whoever said technology will replace paper has obviously never tried to wipe their butt with an iPad.

That guy is so stupid he can't can't count his balls twice and come up with the same number.

You don't know something? Google it. You don't know someone? Facebook it. You don't find Something? MOM!