Funny Status Ideas

When I get bored I go to a car dealership and ask the salesman to lay in the trunk so I can "see how many I'll be able to fit"

I'm not saying not to trust the internet, but there's an alarming discrepancy between the number of iPads I've won & the number of iPads I own.

Evening news is where they begin with saying "Good evening", and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

If you want to see exactly how angry a person can get, tell them to "calm down" when they're already pissed off.

and on the 7th day while God was resting Satan created the Kardashian family.

My wife is going to the hair salon today. For the next few hours I'll be practicing my reaction.

Everyone suffering from diseases and natural disasters: hang in there, we're liking Facebook posts as fast as we can.