Funny Status Ideas

It would be pretty sweet if girls who get fake boobs also got loud horns implanted so they'd make cool sounds when you squeeze them.

How are middle schoolers sexually active? I wasn't even socially active. I'm still not socially active.. I'm not even active.

At this point, it's impossible to "keep calm" and remember to do all the things those signs tell us to do.

If you need Facebook to remind you it's your wife's birthday, I hope you own a comfortable couch.

I can't unfriend you because I really enjoy watching the disaster that is your life.

After saying, "What?" three times, you just have to agree.

We are hosting a charity concert for people who struggle to reach orgasm. If you can't come, let me know.