Funny Status Ideas

I trust google maps more than I trust most people.

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. So I’m off to find a bar with a mirror.

Money is not a problem. The problem is I don't have any of it.

My homeless boyfriend asked me to move out with him.

Compared to Victoria's Secret, what Starbucks charges for a cup isn't that bad.

I can't be the only one who thinks that Olive Garden would be so much more successful if it was named "The Garden of Eatin'".

I just went down to McDonald's in Harlem. I don't get what all the hype is about. This shake is pretty normal