Funny Status Ideas

Money is not a problem. The problem is I don't have any of it.

My homeless boyfriend asked me to move out with him.

Compared to Victoria's Secret, what Starbucks charges for a cup isn't that bad.

I can't be the only one who thinks that Olive Garden would be so much more successful if it was named "The Garden of Eatin'".

I just went down to McDonald's in Harlem. I don't get what all the hype is about. This shake is pretty normal

When I get bored I go to a car dealership and ask the salesman to lay in the trunk so I can "see how many I'll be able to fit"

I'm not saying not to trust the internet, but there's an alarming discrepancy between the number of iPads I've won & the number of iPads I own.