Funny Status Ideas

I like when google answers my stupid questions because it means I'm not the only one asking google stupid questions.

I propose we change the names of the upper case P and lower case p to "P standing up" and "p sitting down."

Remind me never to go swimming with Phil Collins.

This new shampoo I'm using smells like they forgot to put the "sham" in it...

Toilet paper is a perfect example of how "you don't know what you got 'til it's gone."

For every photo a girl posts of herself, there are 27 others in the exact same pose that weren't quite good enough.

I get as much action as a white crayon.