Funny Status Ideas

Baking soda seems like a scam. "Be sure to keep this box of magic white powder in the back of your refrigerator."

A cop in Texas pulled over a gas tanker that was secretly carrying 2 tons of marijuana. How stupid! You can make way more money selling gas!

I have heard that you should dress for the job you want, not the job you have. I'd rather not have a job. So I went to the office barefoot in boxers and a t-shirt today. It worked!

How did the inventor of the clock know what time it was?

I love using my GPS, problem is I can't find it.

If I was Voldemort, one of my horcruxes would be an artificial heart inside a sick child. Your move Harry.

I make seven figures but the first two are zero.