Funny Status Ideas

Don't cry because its over, smile because his new girlfriend looks like a horse.

I don't understand those couples that fight and then a minute later change their Facebook status to 'Single.' I fight with my parents but you don't see me change my status to 'Orphan.'

I tried making some rabbit stew one weekend, but the kids complained that there was a hare in it.

I HATE Fishing with Skrillex, He always Drops the Bass.

The first five days after the weekend are always the toughest.

Got my night planned. Taking the DirecTV remote outside, change the neighbor's channel to purchase porn, and watch him scramble to stop it.

Offering a hobo $5 from across the street is my version of Frogger.