Funny Status Ideas

Scent is the sense most tied to memory. "Common" is the sense least tied to people.

Women, if you want to strike a bit of fear into your man, just smile really big and ask him, "Notice anything different?"

Farts are just the ghosts of the things we eat.

I am never having kids. Everything they do is your fault...

I want to live life to the fullest. So much so, that the Westboro Baptist Church will picket my funeral.

I don't feel bad for making jokes about my 2 year old here. If Facebook is still around when I'm old they'll be posting about wiping my butt too!

Don't get your panties in a bunch. The nicer ones are sold individually.