Funny Status Ideas

You can now buy "Throwback" Pepsi that is made with real sugar. When will they start selling throwback Coca-Cola made with real cocaine?

There's a reason it's called "Girls Gone Wild" and not "Women Gone Wild". When girls go wild, they show their boobs because they want money. When women go wild, they kill men for insurance policies.

Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects.

Just saw a cop pull over a U-Haul truck. I think he is trying to bust a move.

I had sex in a cemetery once. That's as close to death as I want to come.

Hospitals don't like it when you unplug things to charge your phone without asking first.

I said "Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't." but the judge didn't buy it.