Funny Status Ideas

Yesterday I fell off a 50 foot ladder. It's probably a good thing I was on the bottom step...

Arguing with a person who has rejected the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead.

If God gave you a good singing voice you should sing loud in church to give thanks. If God gave you a bad singing voice you should sing loud in church to get even.

I drink one glass of red wine a day for my health. The rest of the bottle is because I like being drunk.

I don't have a Twitter account, so I just carry around a megaphone to announce what I'm doing at random times. So far I've got 3 followers - but I think 2 of them are cops.

My strategy is "accidentally" rolling the dice into my opponent's armies when the jerk fortifies Australia in Risk.

Logging in to Facebook has become the equivalent of opening the fridge door and staring inside even though you're not hungry.