Funny Status Ideas

I wonder if Charlie Brown can refer me to a good grief counselor.

Some are scared of self driving cars but I’m fairly certain I could throw a Slap Chop behind the wheel & it would be safer than some people.

I consider my body less of a temple and more of a ruin.

I assume, one day, Taylor Swift will get married and write a song complaining about her husband never putting down the toilet seat.

I met a lady named Polly once. She didn't care for crackers, nor my sense of humor.

A search party sounds like a fun way to look for someone.

Tell a girl she's beautiful a million times and she never believes. Call her ugly once and she'll never forget.