Funny Status Ideas

There is no number for what just happened in that bathroom...

Sometimes I have to go outside to get signal on my phone for Facebook so yes, you could describe me as "outdoorsy."

Common sense is not a gift. It's a punishment, because you have to deal with everyone else that doesn't have it.

Those people who say "there is never a stupid question" Have never worked in Customer Service.

If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, nobody else wanted them either.

I always get naked before I get in bed so I don't know why this lady at Sears is giving me a dirty look in the mattress section.

I'd like to party like its 1999, then I realize that was 14 years ago and I can't stay up past 11 o'clock now. So screw you Prince.