Funny Status Ideas

Common sense is not a gift. It's a punishment, because you have to deal with everyone else that doesn't have it.

Those people who say "there is never a stupid question" Have never worked in Customer Service.

If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, nobody else wanted them either.

I always get naked before I get in bed so I don't know why this lady at Sears is giving me a dirty look in the mattress section.

I'd like to party like its 1999, then I realize that was 14 years ago and I can't stay up past 11 o'clock now. So screw you Prince.

It's always good to feel appreciated. My little brother just called to thank me for "setting the bar so incredibly low for him."

This message will self destruct in.........................................................It's still here huh?