Funny Status Ideas

Apparently slim chance and fat chance have the same meaning.

If Mary gave birth to Jesus and Jesus is the lamb of God, did Mary have a little lamb?

Last night I saw a documentary about beavers. Best dam show I ever watched.

You say pervert stalker. I say unpaid private investigator.

Automatic doors are making being a gentleman difficult. It doesn't seem as romantic rushing to jump in front of the sensor to open the door.

I went from a size 36 waist to a size 27! The diet was called "The Grunge Era Ended."

Officer: "Anything you say will be held against you" Me: "BOOBS!"