Funny Status Ideas

My life is about as organized as the $5 DVD bin at Walmart.

I must have a great butt because every time I walk away from my coworkers I always hear 'What an ass'

If you have a pre-schooler go to sleep tonight secure in the knowledge that your kid's teacher knows EVERYTHING about you.

Putting your finger on someone's lips and saying "Shhhh... Not another word" is super-romantic. But the cops didn't think so.

I bet Liu Kang's mother probably hated him in utero.

Apparently slim chance and fat chance have the same meaning.

If Mary gave birth to Jesus and Jesus is the lamb of God, did Mary have a little lamb?