Funny Status Ideas

The internet is full of cats because dog people actually go outside.

Good news: Tim Tebow got a job with the Patriots. Bad news: He's now associated with the word "Patriot" and is being audited by the IRS.

Dance like nobody's watching, sing like nobody's listening, Facebook like the NSA doesn't exist..

I wonder what hookers think about all these roundabouts.

“Screw it” – My final thought before making most decisions.

I just saw a giant spider in my room so I sprayed it with hairspray. It's not dead, but its hair looks fabulous.

The only reason women's minds are cleaner than men's is because they change them so often!