Funny Status Ideas

It's too bad growing dandelions doesn't mean you are a master gardener, because I'm excellent at it.

Speed bumps can turn into speed ramps depending on who's car I'm borrowing.

My ex is going to make someone very happy one day but completely miserable the rest of the time.

A walk in the woods helps me relax and release tension. The fact that I'm dragging a body behind me should be irrelevant

Compromise - An agreement whereby both parties received what neither of them wanted.

Escalators can never break down, they are only temporarily stairs.

He who laughs last didn't get the joke.