Funny Status Ideas

Some consider Romeo and Juliet a tale of true romantic love. Sure, if you consider 2 underage kids in a relationship that lasted 3 days causing 2 suicides and 3 murders romantic.

Internet dating: the odds are good but the goods are odd.

"Are you single?" "No, I'm in a committed endless discussion about where to have dinner."

According to Pinterest, I'm severely under-utilizing mason jars.

I bet the worst part about being single is knowing that even Hitler found someone who loved him.

"You wouldn't hit a man with glasses, would you?" - No. I'd hit him with knuckles.

My roommate complained that I never lifted a finger to help around the house. So I lifted a finger. Apparently, it was the wrong one.