Funny Status Ideas

Does running out of money count as exercise?

What do people mean "get ready for bed"? I am ALWAYS ready for bed

When books were first invented I'll bet some people would pretentiously say, I liked the book but the traveling storyteller was much better.

"Keeping Up with the Kardashians" seems like it would be pretty easy. Khloe, in particular, looks very slow.

You say peeping tom. I say highly active member of the neighborhood watch.

Honestly, I've never seen anyone fall because of a banana peel.

I don't like selfish people. I saw this guy pushing like 50 carts at Wal-mart last night. Really!? You think someone else might want one?!