Funny Status Ideas

Why does everyone want me to come out of my comfort zone? I worked really hard to get there.

I’m glad we don’t have to hunt for our food any more. I don’t even know where sandwiches live...

When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think it's cute. I just find it strange how many people have knives on a date.

Research has shown that a poor sex life will lead to a stroke.

Schwarzenegger is making yet another Terminator film. I'm not saying he's old, but this time Sarah Connor will be played by Angela Lansbury.

If by "help you cook" you mean drink wine in the kitchen while you do the work, then yes, I'd love to help you cook.

I had a date with my treadmill recently, we aren't working out.