Funny Status Ideas

My new years resolution was to lose 30 pounds by the end of summer. I've only got 40 pounds to go.

How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box for me to start a campfire?

Why doesn't someone invent a clear toaster so you can see how toasted your toast is while it's toasting?

If there isn't a Chinese millionaire that's changed their name to Cha Ching, then I don't see the point of money.

Dodgeball: America's twist on stoning

They should have cell phone chargers in waiting rooms instead of magazines.

My kids keep bugging me about dinner even after I told them I already ate...