Funny Status Ideas

I can almost always tell when a movie doesn't use real dinosaurs.

Without coffee, I'm just a really tall 2 year old.

Oh you just put lotion on? You're not going anywhere. - Doorknob

I watched my first silent movie the other day. The kids weren't there.

The rest of the country calls it a "crime ring". In New England, it's called a "huddle".

A man was hospitalized with 6 plastic horses up his butt. The doctor described his condition as stable.

Dear Saturday, you and I have been friends for a long time. I wish you would come around more often. Once a week isn't enough.