Funny Status Ideas

Oh you just put lotion on? You're not going anywhere. - Doorknob

I watched my first silent movie the other day. The kids weren't there.

The rest of the country calls it a "crime ring". In New England, it's called a "huddle".

A man was hospitalized with 6 plastic horses up his butt. The doctor described his condition as stable.

Dear Saturday, you and I have been friends for a long time. I wish you would come around more often. Once a week isn't enough.

My new years resolution was to lose 30 pounds by the end of summer. I've only got 40 pounds to go.

How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box for me to start a campfire?