Funny Status Ideas

The phone said "Call Failed", but I thought it was going quite well.

I'm convinced that homeless people have all the shopping carts with 4 good wheels.

I got arrested for growing weed in my back yard, but I was framed. The evidence was planted.

Jay-Z basically makes 4 minute radio commercials for watches, cars and clothes.

People die every year in vending machine accidents. How are we still at the top of the food chain?

I can almost always tell when a movie doesn't use real dinosaurs.

Without coffee, I'm just a really tall 2 year old.