Funny Status Ideas

Hello Fire Department? Is this Mr. December? I'm stuck in a tree. I mean, Meow...

Hey officer, why did you stop me? Just an hour ago, you said that you never wanted to see me again.

With the advances of technology these days how come no one has invented a tampon that is like a turkey timer that just pops up when it's done?

Shout out to old people for graduating high school without Google.

I lost a very close friend and drinking partner last week. He got his finger caught in a wedding ring.

The Starbucks guy just said, "Looks like you had a rough night!" I didn't even go out...

If "she'll be riding six white horses when she comes", she's probably a little more woman than you can handle