Funny Status Ideas

Mermaids swim by twerking...Do you ever just think about that?

The royal baby was honored with a 41-gun salute today. Unfortunately, it happened right after Kate finally got him to sleep.

Watched five movies on Netflix last night and now my "recommended for you" queue is "pay some bills" and "clean the bathroom"

You don't realize how inappropriate your favorite TV show is until your mom comes in to watch it with you.

I don't understand why people get angry when someone breaks up with them by text. I used to break up with people by never talking to them again.

Exciting news: Duchess Kate has gone into labor; this marks the first time anyone in the Royal family has been connected to the word labor.

So what do women say when they're actually fine?