Funny Status Ideas

The first thing a man notices about a woman is her eyes. Then, when her eyes aren't looking, he notices her breasts.

Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic...

Only diabetics can enjoy the full effects of Lifesavers.

You're either part of the solution, or you're one of my coworkers.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. So let's just agree now...

One of the ironies of parenting. You teach your kids to be strong and independent. But when they are strong and independent with you, it pisses you off. Be careful what you wish for.

Relationships are weird. "you're funny and smart" eventually turns to "you think you know everything and everything is a joke to you".