Funny Status Ideas

Only diabetics can enjoy the full effects of Lifesavers.

You're either part of the solution, or you're one of my coworkers.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. So let's just agree now...

One of the ironies of parenting. You teach your kids to be strong and independent. But when they are strong and independent with you, it pisses you off. Be careful what you wish for.

Relationships are weird. "you're funny and smart" eventually turns to "you think you know everything and everything is a joke to you".

Mermaids swim by twerking...Do you ever just think about that?

The royal baby was honored with a 41-gun salute today. Unfortunately, it happened right after Kate finally got him to sleep.