Funny Status Ideas

I'm completely outraged over the latest thing in the news that'll blow over in 3 days and we'll all forget even happened in a month.

At what age do you stop sniffing your kid's crotch to see if they wet themselves? Because my mom is out of control with that...

Tips to reduce weight: turn your head to the right, now to the left... now repeat this procedure every time you're offered something to eat.

Sure vitamins are expensive but at least there's no proof that they work.

Grab the bull by the horns. The other end is too gross...

The first thing a man notices about a woman is her eyes. Then, when her eyes aren't looking, he notices her breasts.

Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic...