Funny Status Ideas

If your ever wondering if a tree is of the Dogwood variety you could tell by its bark.

I really want to buy one of the grocery checkout dividers but the lady behind the counter keeps putting it back.

‪I hate when Wal-Mart doesn’t have what I need and I have to go home, change out my pajamas, take a shower and go to Target. ‬

Black Friday is as close to the Purge as we will get in America...

Is coral the dumbest animal or the smartest rock?

I couldn’t find a parking spot at work today. So I went home. It seems to me they had plenty of people to work.

I want to be a millionaire. Just like my dad! No, he wasn't a millionaire, but he always wanted to be.