Funny Status Ideas

If a Police Officer says, Anything you say will be taken down & used as evidence, your answer should always be, "Please don't hit me again officer"...

If Internet Explorer is brave enough to ask to be your default browser, you're brave enough to ask that girl out.

Netflix gives you 15 seconds between episodes to decide whether or not you're doing anything with your life today.

I've spent my whole life trying to maintain my integrity. That didn't work. How do I sell out?

I have a fear of speed bumps, but I'm slowly getting over it.

My dad told me I should bring condoms to college. When I told him I'm only taking online classes he just winked!

You never truly feel the need for the T and G keys to be further apart until you accidentally reply to an email by saying, "Best Retards."