Funny Status Ideas

Say what you will about Kristen Stewart's acting abilities, but I'm willing to bet she'd kick some serious ass in a poker game.

I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian!

I bet if you asked a one-eyed person, they'd tell you it really WAS all fun and games up until that point.

Whoever said "sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt you" has obviously never been hit with a dictionary.

I don't own a thesaurus, is 'cock meat' a synonym for 'fried chicken'?

A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

Campers: Nature's way of feeding mosquitoes.