Funny Status Ideas

Adulthood is childhood's bad hangover.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life, but so was yesterday, and look how that turned out...

If you join Audible.com they give you a free audio book. I got Where's Waldo.

I think I will stick to my old fashioned pepper shaker. This new pepper spray tastes terrible on my potatoes...

I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next crap could spell disaster.

For every action there is an unequal and opposite overreaction. - Newton's law of the Internet

I would like to join whatever weight loss program my wallet is on because its working wonders