Funny Status Ideas

If you join Audible.com they give you a free audio book. I got Where's Waldo.

I think I will stick to my old fashioned pepper shaker. This new pepper spray tastes terrible on my potatoes...

I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next crap could spell disaster.

For every action there is an unequal and opposite overreaction. - Newton's law of the Internet

I would like to join whatever weight loss program my wallet is on because its working wonders

Say what you will about Kristen Stewart's acting abilities, but I'm willing to bet she'd kick some serious ass in a poker game.

I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian!