Funny Status Ideas

My 2017 resolution is to stop thinking so much about the future.

Where did Dr. Dre go to medical school?

I find the best way to get rid of headaches is to send them either to their rooms or outside to play.

I just did a week's worth of cardio after walking into a spider web.

This Labor Day let’s celebrate all the work we successfully avoided this year.

I asked my girlfriend if she was ok with me buying her a ring. She said "nothing would make me happier!" So I got her nothing.

I feel like we should wait to hear Adele's ex-boyfriend's songs before we choose sides.