Funny Status Ideas

Hey smartphone owners! That blurred bit just off the edge of the screen is called life.

You've got to love yourself. But not in public places.

I'm trying to master the art of eating a powdered doughnut, without looking like I just got back from Charlie Sheen's house.

I'm going to become a hermit as soon as I find a cave with a decent wifi connection.

Goldilocks was a hipster: Hardly liked anything, and she tried to eat porridge before it was cool.

I bought powdered water but I don't know what to add to it.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me 300,000 times, well then you're probably a weatherman.