Funny Status Ideas

I hope when Bruce Willis dies, it's from a Viagra overdose. That way the headline can read "Bruce Willis Died Hard".

Apparently my socks never remember the buddy system whenever I wash them.

Warning: drinking before pregnancy can cause pregnancy.

I wonder if Bill Nye and his dance partner will have good chemistry.

Just when I think I'm over my insomnia the car behind me honks.

Hey smartphone owners! That blurred bit just off the edge of the screen is called life.

You've got to love yourself. But not in public places.