Funny Status Ideas

If you never set it, you always have the excuse, "I overslept because the alarm didn't go off."

Becoming an adult is probably the dumbest thing I have ever done.

US declares war on some other country, Americans urged to keep shopping and not worry about it.

Down on yourself for being lazy? Keep in mind the Greeks believed their GODS lived atop a very hikeable mountain and no one went to check.

I don't care about your choice in politics, religion, or taste in music... I judge you simply based on football team preference.

I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of my life if I die on Wednesday.

When I found out my toaster wasn't waterproof, I was shocked!