Funny Status Ideas

Insomnia improves your math skills. You spend all night calculating how much sleep you'll get if you "fall asleep right now".

I finally found a diet plan that works! It's called 'The Cost of Food'.

A teenager without earbuds is the modern day unicorn.

I don't take steroids because I never want to look like I'm capable of helping my friends move.

I admire the commitment of girls who paint their eyebrows on. How do you pick one facial expression for the whole day? What if you find a penny?

I can't tell if I actually have free time, or if I'm just forgetting everything...

I regret nothing but mostly because I can't remember most of the stuff I should probably regret