Funny Status Ideas

Cinnamon is just sawdust with good PR.

Is it to early to break my new year's resolution or should I wait until after Christmas?

We squint at the sun because it's bright. We squint at people because they're not.

Airport security has just made sure that I don't have weapons or prostate cancer.

Does anyone in this group know of an old couple or even a single old lady or man who will be eating alone this Christmas? I am having friends and relatives over and need to borrow a few chairs.

I hate how celebrities always die in 3 like Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, and Jim Morrison and sometimes literally on the same day like Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens and the Big Bopper and now Oscar the Grouch, Big Bird and Caroll Spinney.

‪Roadside sobriety test are getting ridiculous. Last night I had to fold a fitted sheet .